Abandoning Economic Existentialism

We often describe narcissism as the cause for all disregard of others, lack of empathy, and a false-sense of grandiosity. But what if narcissism isn’t the root cause for a lack of philanthropy, what if the real cause is the expectation to be perfect? What if attention-seeking, arrogance and self-centeredness is only the byproduct of the economic perfection norm? How can we create room for philanthropy, by abandoning economic existentialism? 

Today we live in a system where the expected purpose in life is economic. We live to achieve. The narcissistic traits of needing to be perfect, and to be perceived as perfect, is the product of conditioning us humans to feel like we need to achieve, in order to be valuable. Zoe Williams references Pat Macdonald in her article “The Narcissism Epidemic” (The Guardian, 2016), where he states that overpraised children started to show narcissistic traits a while later, and that vicarious parents, viewing their children as extentions of themselves, would compliment their children as if they were truly perfect. I can imagine this doesn’t only encourage confidence, but also perfectionism. A perfectionism that persists in adulthood, and becomes the sole goal in life. We need to get promoted at work, buy a bigger house, and a better car. Ideally we raise perfectly well-behaved, high-achieving children, with the same goals as ourselves. Because our meaning in life is predetermined, and largely based on being perfect, we feel a general sense of meaninglessness that creates the need for a compensating force: societal narcissism. This is what I call economic existentialism. 

What would happen if we started to base our meaning in life on personal aspirations? What if our goals were (largely) cost free, and mentally liberating? Like creating a beautiful flower garden, helping other people, learning as much as possible, or anything you want. When the aspiration is a joyful and personalised one, the pressure of being perfect ceases. Then the need for arrogance, attention and wealth also ceases. Greed is there; greed is human, but I believe that greed derives from a lack of personal expression, not a true need for perfection. When we live happily without over-consuming, then we won’t have a problem with being philanthropists to others. Therefore, learning to know ourselves is the first step. Without knowing ourselves, we can’t truly know what we want or need in life. 

Unlike us humans tend to believe, the world does not revolve around us. In fact, the world is mostly unaware of our existence, and really could not care less. Our goal as a species is to adapt to the current climate, food provisions, and general biological needs. Beyond that, we are pointless. Unfortunately, humans as a species are relatively smart, and therefore have the misfortune of being born with a conscience. This means that we are aware of our own existence, and have to be aware of that until the day we die. In this meaningless, and lifetime-lasting pondering, a question is raised; what is our meaning in life? But there is no meaning in life. At least, there is no “our meaning in life”. The main problem with economic existentialism, is that it generalizes our purpose to a common one, but sticks to the idea of the central individual. The idea of the central individual encourages ego-centrism and unreasonable amounts of greed, instead of creating the goal of a beautiful flower garden, we create goals that damage others. We can be aware of this fact, but don’t stop to think about it, because “this is just the way it is”. Exploiting children in the Global south doesn’t matter, because my own well-being is the top priority. I need to lead the perfect life, they… don’t. Alexandra Wolfe says in her article “The Ethics of Philanthropy” (The Wall Street Journal, 2015), that according to Peter Singer accumulating wealth and disregarding the well-being of others is the normal thing to do, but that one should think ” ‘Does my welfare really matter more than someone else’s?'” We need to learn to embrace others as much as ourselves.

Narcissism isn’t inherently a social problem, but rather an existential one. Today, we live in a capitalist society, where personal greed and achievement is the main, perhaps only, priority. This lack of personalised expression causes a need for narcissism. Therefore, we should remove our economic existentialism, and instead learn to know ourselves. When we accept our own mundanity and live according to our own needs, philanthropy will be an honor, and not a burden.